


Chiron and Lupa Make a Chat and Everything Goes to Hell

by HiyaJay (orphan_account)



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Chatlogs, Everyone swears actually, F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Multi, Swearing, This is DUMB, dionysus swears, i can relate, leo made phones for everyone, nico's salty and gay, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-25 00:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16651099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/HiyaJay
Summary: This is why we cant have nice things.





	1. and so it begins

**Camp Half-Blood**

Chiron: Hello, everyone! How do you like the new chat?

Leo: phones courtesy of the hephaestus cabin

Lupa: I don't get why I need to be on this.

Dionysus: same here 

Chiron: You work at one of the camps, Dionysus. And you're a Roman version of me, Lupa. It only makes sense.

Reyna: I personally like it.

Leo: yo we can change names here right

Lupa: I believe so.

**Leo has changed their name to awesome sauce**

Percy: my phone's been blowing up, what's happenin?

Annabeth: I think this is a group chat.

awesome sauce: why cant i change ur names guys

Chiron: You mean me and Lupa? We're chat mods.

Nico: what is this?

**Will has changed Nico's name to nico nico niii**

**nico nico niii has changed Will's name to gay twink**

~~~~Percy: goals

gay twink: love you too ♡

nico nico niii: stop it

gay twink: stop what?

nico nico niii: stop being positive damn it it's infectious

**Admin Dionysus has changed the chat name to "Tartarus"**

**Admin Chiron has revoked Dionysus's Admin status**

awesome sauce: this is so sad, festus play despacito

nico nico niii: no no keep him as an admin

Dionysus: fuck you all

**Dionysus has left the chat**

Percy: mood

gay twink: big mood

Annabeth: I don't get it.

Percy: gasp

gay twink: gasp

awesome sauce: gASP

awesome sauce: you don't know about memes???

awesome sauce: begon THOT

**awesome sauce has left the chat**

Lupa: This was a mistake.

Chiron: I regret everything.


	2. go the fuck back to sleep leo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo has a question for Lupa.. at three AM.

**Tartarus**

**awesome sauce has joined the chat**

awesome sauce: @Lupa

**Lupa has joined the chat**

Lupa: It's three AM. Shouldn't you be sleeping?

awesome sauce: irrelevant

awesome sauce: how do you type

Lupa: I have better things to do, such as resting. But to answer your question, I use my paws.

awesome sauce: but arent they too big tho

Lupa: I'm a goddess, dumbass. Now, I'll be taking my leave.

**Lupa has left the chat**

**Clarisse has joined the chat**

Clarisse: ITS THREE AM GO THE FUCK BACK TO SLEEP

**awesome sauce has changed Clarisse's name to salty hoe**

**salty hoe has left the chat**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry


	3. oedipus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> enter octavian

**Tartarus**

**Percy has joined the chat**

Percy: hey annabeth

Annabeth: What?

Percy: cant we say oedipus instead of motherfucker

Annabeth: I mean, yes.

Percy: oh ok

**salty hoe has joined the chat**

salty hoe: OEDIPUS THAT LIL BITCH OCTAVIAN STOLE MY 3RD ELECTRIC SPEAR

**Octavian has joined the chat**

Octavian: And I regret nothing. It was required for proper sacrifices.

**Percy has changed Octavian's name to cultist probably**

cultist probably: Fuck you.

Percy: lmao

**Reyna has joined the chat**

Reyna: Give it back, Octavian..

cultist probably: I need it, though.

Clarisse: i need it through ur face u whore

 ~~~~**nico nico nii has joined the chat**

**nico nico nii has changed their name to Prince Of Darkness**

Prince Of Darkness: guys what the fuck

 


	4. lemp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more late night shenanigans feat. dead memes

**Tartarus**

Percy: hey

Percy: hey guys

**Annabeth has joined the chat**

**awesome sauce has joined the chat**

**Frank has joined the chat**

~~~~Annabeth: Why is everyone always awake at night?

awesome sauce: idk

Percy: i found a moth on my lamp

awesome sauce: lemp

(attachment sent)

Frank: guys its too late for memes

Percy: its never too late for memes excuse you

awesome sauce: come on let me show u da wae

Percy: i was wrong

awesome sauce: let me enjoy my dead memes

Frank: leo please

Annabeth: One more dead meme and I'm breaking up with Percy, good fucking night.

**Annabeth has left the chat**

Percy: well fuck u too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for creating this this is dumb-


	5. gods ex machina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> enter the gods yay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tried to change the format a tad so yeah

**Tartarus**

**Zeus has joined the chat**

**Poseidon has joined the chat**

**Hades has joined the chat**

Percy: how did you guys even get on here

Zeus: We are gods, Percy.

Percy: ok then well hi dad

Poseidon: Hello, Percy.

**Prince of Darkness has joined the chat**

Prince of Darkness: hey dad. hey uncles.

Hades: It's good to speak to you too, Nico.

**Chiron has joined the chat**

**Lupa has joined the chat**

**Reyna has joined the chat**

Lupa: Why are you guys here?

Reyna: ^^^^

Poseidon: We simply want to talk to our children.

Chiron: Where are the other gods, might I ask?

Zeus: Hm. Good question, Chiron.

**Apollo has joined the chat**

**Artemis has joined the chat**

**Ares has joined the chat**

**Hermes has joined the chat**

**Aphrodite has joined the chat**

**Piper has joined the chat**

**salty hoe has joined the chat**

**Silena has joined the chat**

**Zeus has left the chat**

Percy: jfc everyone wants a piece of the chat today

Apollo: what's poppin up in tartarus today

Artemis: Brother, no.

salty hoe: dad wtf r u doin here

Ares: im here because aphrodite made me

Reyna: I leave to pet my dogs for one second and suddenly half of Olympus is here.

Hermes: yeah, that's basically how it works.

Piper: Mom? What're  _you_ doing here??

Aphrodite: 1) That's a lie, Ares. We all know you wanted to check up on Clarisse. 2) I can't visit my lovely baby girls?

Silena: Hi, Mom.

Aphrodite: Hello, honey!

Prince of Darkness: ironic that dionysus isn't on.

Chiron: He's assisting in the growth of some plants.

Lupa: If I could eat popcorn, I sure as hell would be.

Hermes: anyways are my kids on?

Percy: nope

Hermes: oh.

Hermes: eh, i'll know anyway. send em my way. gotta talk to iris right now anyway.

**Hermes has left the chat**

Poseidon: Well, Percy, how're you and Annabeth?

Percy: annabeth threatened to break up with me over memes at like midnight or something

Percy: but we're cool

Prince of Darkness: that is the only punctuation i have seen you do here.

Percy: annabeth got on my ass about it one day so yeah

**Dionysus has joined the chat**

**Dionysus has left the chat**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> handling so many characters at once is hard-


	6. gobble gobble motherfucker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy thanksgiving u turds

**Tartarus**

**awesome sauce has joined the chat**

awesome sauce: gobble gobble motherfucker

**Percy has joined the chat**

Percy: *oedipus

**Chiron has joined the chat**

**Dionysus has joined the chat**

Chiron: Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Dionysus: i hate this holiday

Dionysus: there is nothing to be thankful for besides wine, grapes, and pinochle

**Prince of Darkness has joined the chat**

**gay twink has joined the chat**

Prince of Darkness: and death.

gay twink: nico, we talked about this.

awesome sauce: calm down there edgelord mcdisney

**Percy has changed Prince of Darkness's name to edgelord mcdisney**

**edgelord mcdisney has changed Percy's name to fuck you**

fuck you: <\----

Chiron: Children, please don't fight today.

Dionysus: or ill turn you into glasses of fine fucking wine

**Dionysus has been banned from the chat**

gay twink: this is a disaster.

edgelord mcdisney: no shit sunny d.

gay twink: where did our parents go wrong in raising us??

edgelord mcdisney: well, leo's mom made the mistake of dying.

**awesome sauce has left the chat**

**Chiron has left the chat**

**gay twink has left the chat**

**fuck you has left the chat**

**edgelord mcdisney has left the chat**

 

 


	7. what is this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> leo adds some new features. yay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh the joining thing was tedious asf so i removed it

**Tartarus**

awesome sauce: hey guys guess what

Chiron: What?

awesome sauce: you can privately chat to peeps now

awesome sauce: and make more chats

awesome sauce: and assign default nems

Prince of Darkness: that wasn't a feature before??

awesome sauce: no

fuck you: why tho

awesome sauce: cuz im lazy and it wasnt rlly necessary at the time

**fuck you has changed their name to Percyideon**

Annabeth: Why.

Chiron: Well, thank you for the features, Leo!

awesome sauce: any time yo

Dionysus: nobody message me

 

**Chiron >>> grape**

Chiron: Hello, Dionysus.

grape: god fucking

 

**Wolf Mom has made a chat named "Camp Jupiter 2k18"**

Pontifex: What is this?

Wolf Mom: Delusional, much?

Frank: Who?

Reyna: Octavian.

North Dakota: big oof

Pontifex: I am not delusional.

Prince of Darkness: yes, you are.

Pontifex: Shut it, Graceus.

Lightning Bolt: Lupa, can you please kick him out?

Wolf Mom: Nah, I wanna see where this is going.

Frank: lupa why

Wolf Mom: Because I can.

Pontifex: Personally, I think deserve to be in Reyna and Frank's pace.

Reyna: Personally, I think you're a narcissist who almost destroyed the Legion.

North Dakota: savage oof

Wolf Mom: This is so sad. Hazel, play Despacito.

Prince of Darkness: oh my god

Frank: i think she just left to find an instrument

Frank: what have you done

Reyna: Lupa, why.

Lightning Bolt: Gods save us.

Wolf Mom: Lmao I am a god.

Lightning Bolt: *Any other God beside Lupa save us.

Pontifex: Will both of you shut up?

North Dakota: the savagery

North Dakota: it h u r t s

 

**Tartarus**

Percyideon: and thats how i walked on my own funeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know what i'm writing anymore.


	8. psa/a/n: won't update anymore

guys i honestly

don't know what the fuck im writing anymore

so uh???

im just going to try something else

because this is just

wtf

but hey

you can still read this i guess

thanks to the 12 peeps that kudosed

uh

bye

i guess


End file.
